day 1: it's a bad bad bad bad world

So yesterday we didn't go to work, and instead bought clothes at American Apparel in the Marina. Driving on Lombard street, I was discussing with Tahlia my theories about how Eli was probably staying around here, since I remembered that he had been mentioning IHOP in his blog, and how I thought this is really the only IHOP around. And we're driving by IHOP and right next door is this shiteous green motel called Surf Inn and there's a huge sign that says "Free Wireless" and I'm thinking, fuck! That's probably where the fucker is right now, posting away on his blog an writing animal fiction!! So we stop in. We agree in the car that Tahlia should do all the talking because, well for obvious reasons. Our story was that we have a friend, Eli, staying at a place on Lombard and Pierce, and we're not sure which one. My tradeoff was that if they called Eli from the front desk, I would have to speak to him on the phone.

We walk in to a tiny room that reeks of curry that looks like the waiting room to a Jiffy Lube and talked to a bushy eyed man behind the desk who was very friendly, actually concerned, and looks up Eli's name (after asking what country our friend was from-- we said the United States!) He's not listed, and Tahlia and I look at each other, wondering if maybe Eli is crazy enough to check in under a fake name. But how, with the credit cards could he do that I wonder? And Tahlia reminds me that in movies, people always 'sign the books' with a fake name, but I'm really thinking that Eli is paranoid enough not to do that. And the man behind the counter suggests we try another place down the street, and even though its fucking windy outside, we walk over there. To be fair to Tahlia, she probably could have quit after this one try, but I'm starting to feel a lot like Nancy Drew, and my enthusiasm propels us to try six more places.

A few notes from each failed** attempt:

Presidio Inn: This place also smelled like curry, and had a similarly bushy eyed man with gold chain who was screaming on the phone at someone, possibly a family member. We pretended to look at brochures for a while. No Eli.

Super 8 Motel: The guy here was very concerned that we were missing a friend! He pointed out a number of other places to check out, and we were starting to feel doubtful of ever finding Eli.

Days Inn*****: We are very suspicious of the Days Inn! Because we walked in and Tahlia did her little spiel about our missing friend, and as soon as we said "Eli" the man said, "There's no Eli here"--- without even checking the books! And then he looked at us weirdly and THEN checked the books and said no Eli and we just get a bad feeling about this place. Eli, are you possibly crazy enough to get the front desk guy to cover for you???

Some really fancy place: Well, actually it was not fancy at all, but compared to the other dumps we went to this place actually had something that resembled a hotel lobby, with carpet even, and the guy behind the desk was WHITE, so we were pretty doubtful that Eli would be here. But we asked, and the visibly annoyed white man said no.

America's Best Value Inn: There was a woman here. She was not that helpful, and she informed us we were on Steiner and Lombard, not Pierce and Lombard. Thanks bitch.

Greenwich Inn: Looked like a place for Eli, but he wasn't here. Also, Tahlia's confused friend speech was starting to sound a little bit rehearsed, and this guy seemed very suspicious, so we left.

On the drive home, we were thinking about what we would have said had we had him on the line. It retrospect, our plan was pretty half baked, so its no great loss we never found him.